After the affair is public, you don’t know what to do. He cheated on you and now you know for sure.
Even with the divorce rate as high as it is, it just doesn’t seem possible that you have a cheating husband. You didn’t suspect this. With so many years of marriage, now you must face the reality of an affair.
What happens now? You have those images in your head. You can’t sleep at night because all you can see are the two of them. It just doesn’t seem fair. He is the one who betrayed the trust, but you are the one being punished.
You need to get some type of help to heal yourself. This is not the time to make life changing decisions. It is the time to heal yourself first and then look at the rest of the picture.
Todays life styles are more complicated. You have children who are almost adults. You have aging parents to take care of. The relationship is not the same as it was fifteen years ago. Perhaps you have ten years of marriage and now this.
The reality is that divorce is more common. But even if a couple divorces they have to learn from the mistakes in the present marriage. You want to have a better idea of how to build a stronger marriage.
Don’t just run from this. Take time to get soem professional help that will make it easier to handle. Family and friends mean well, but most will not be open minded. Right now you are at a turning point.
This is the time to heal and then decide if the marriage is worth building again. No one can make this decision but you. Knowing that, it means you want to make this decision with good confidence. You may still be raising children. You want to set a better example for them.
Taking the time to get help will not only help you but them too. That doesn’t mean stay together for the sake of the kids. You want to show them a good marriage can be saved even after the affair. However you don’t want to let them see you being used.
Allow yourself time to heal. Get some good help and then work on the direction you want to go.
Read more about A NEW Marriage Counseling Alternative Developed by Frank Gunzburg, PhD. Author of How to Survive an Affair. Go to: http://aftertheaffair.org