Is your man cheating?
Author: Tatenda Sithole
Nobody likes to get cheated on. Right?
I mean, finding out that your beloved has been cosying up to someone else is hard enough, but to find out that he has been sneaking around and hoping you wouldn’t find out. There’s never a nice way to discover that your man is cheating, but if he’s not being forthcoming about his extracurricular activities here are just a few ways in which you can find out if your man is playing the field.
1. Have you discovered a mysterious ‘second phone number’? Now this might seem obvious, but for the man that likes to cast his net wider than your relationship he wants to make his separate life completely separate. If he’s suddenly got a mysterious phone that has nothing to do with you or work it’s time to have that long talk.
2. He begins to guard his phone like a hawk and/or turns it off when he’s around you. If he hasn’t got the new phone then he might have hung onto his faithful ole’ number. But now that other parties have it he won’t want to risk the chance of you talking to them. So he carries his phone ‘everywhere’ with him and puts it on silent or turns it off when you’re around.
3. He has a new set of ‘friends’ that he hangs out with a lot but you can never meet. Has your man suddenly become Mr. Popular? Is he going to meet ‘the boys’ all the time but you have no idea who his newfound yet seriously interesting friends are? If he’s suddenly so popular that you need an appointment to spend time with him be afraid. Be very afraid…
4. He is actively avoiding spending time with you, and intimacy is suffering. I’m sure you know the score here. He starts to spend more time out of bed than in it with you. Not just down to his work commitments either. He comes to bed after you’ve fallen asleep and/or leaves before you’ve woken up. If it’s not work, then what is it?
5. He starts to work late – all the time. This still remains the classic cheating guy mantra. He has to work late. Seriously, sometimes we wish they would be more original. But there you have it, wouldn’t be a red flag if guys still weren’t pulling this one.
6. He becomes image-obsessed all of a sudden and changes his wardrobe. Look out for unusual trends in your man’s perception of himself. If he suddenly becomes metro-sexual when before he was comfy tee-shirt and trainers you can almost guarantee that something’s afoot!
7. His credit card statement shows up unusual spending habits or he starts withdrawing large chunks of cash. Cash has no paper trail right? Some guys have wised up to the monitoring credit card activity investigative powers of the woman. So they have moved it on to paying in cash. But that cash has to come from somewhere. So if you notice large withdrawals of cash then you can be justified in worrying that he’s ‘spoiling’ some other queen in his life.
8. Have his online habits changed? Does he password protect everything and delete his browsing history constantly? Is he sneaking off to be online? Or does he quickly shut down web-pages when you walk in the room? Either your man has a porn habit or he’s checking on his new beau.
9. Is he always looking for a fight so he can storm off to ‘cool down’? Usually as far away from home as he can? A friend of mine had a guy who would regularly start fights out of nowhere and storm out the house at all hours to cool down. She later found out that he had a girl on the side and would end up there after their arguments.
There’s really no nice way to find out that your coupling has become a party of three. Or worse. But if you want to get to the bottom of his cheating then watch out for the signs and communicate your concerns to your other half before it’s too late.
Tatenda is one of the writers of articles that talk about women’s issues, self actualisation, dating and health on http://thepowerofwoman.net