Jealousy can last much longer than a basic emotion like anger, without losing its original intensity, and it may even outlast the attachment which it fears losing: “jealousy is always born with love; it does not always die with it”.
Jealousy is about fear–fear of the unknown and of change, fear of losing power or control in a relationship, fear of loss, and fear of abandonment. While is it normal to feel mildly jealous on occasion, if jealousy is a frequent emotion or something which is irrational, this may reflect the carryover of past real or imagined traumas and betrayals. In my own case, when I experience jealous emotions it is indeed a carryover. I recognize it within myself and I try as best I can to fight it. I keep telling myself, it is not going to keep me from getting hurt.
But why do we get jealous?
Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. That’s what you feel when you get jealous of others, of your partner talking to or dancing with another person : I do not have as much value as the other person aka he/she will leave me. The purpose of jealousy is to avoid being hurt or to lessen hurt that has already happened but sometimes jealousy makes people do crazy things – like VERY crazy things. Their jealousness most often leads to the very thing they fear. Being left and feeling they have no value. They are thus confirmed in their fears.
One great way to learn how to deal with jealousy is for people to recognize when they are jumping to conclusions or making assumptions that they are not sure of. One of the most important techniques for coping with jealousy is acceptance. By accepting that jealousy is not going to save you from being hurt, you can often learn to build trust and keep the lines of communication open.
Result of jealous behavior.
Jealousy is the surest way to drive away the very person we may fear losing. It’s a poor medium to secure love, but it is a secure medium to destroy one’s self-respect.
“Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.”[ad_2]