The road to getting married is usually worth remembering. In the mist of millions of people on earth, to meet someone whom you have an intense liking for, with the feelings being mutual, is something worth celebrating!
How one loves to think back on the courting period that is filled with romance in the air. What is love? You cannot seem to take your eyes off her. She is always at the back of your mind. In the middle of your busy schedule at work, your mind kept drifting away from the job at hand, wondering where she is, what she is doing now, is she thinking of you as much as you are of her? The feeling of impatience for time to pass so that both of you can meet. Cracking your brain to find out what she likes, and surprising her with gifts every so often, hoping to see that beautiful smile of hers. The memorable time spent together, watching a romantic movie, having a candlelight meal, holding her hand in yours, strolling beside the river sparkling with the reflections of ongoing nightlife.
The moment you part, you cannot wait to see her again. She laughs and you feel happy. She cries and your heart breaks! You want to hold her tight in your arms, and protect her against all the big storms in life. Love is all of these and so much more.
Finally the day came, whereby the big question is popped! The “Yes” that you hear seemed like the answer to your prayers! Your love does not end with the “Yes”, but should blossom in the marriage relationship to come. Marriage is the beginning of a path of challenge for the love that is between you and her. Every marriage relationship needs to be maintained, and efforts have to be put in for your love relationship to grow and flourish.
Sad to say, a lot of marriages are not able to cross the hurdles of marriage life. Many married couples are slowly bogged down by the commitments and responsibilities of marriage life. Initial differences in opinions turn to arguments and fights. Many marriages turn sour as there were no conscious efforts by both parties to manage and maintain the love in their marriage. Yes, love relationship does need to be maintained!
Saving a marriage relationship takes courage and effort. To begin with, admit to yourself that your marriage is in need of saving. Love has to be nurtured in order for it to grow and flourish. Without your care and concern, it would wilt in no time, just like a young seedling being deprived of sunshine and water! No one dare to say marriage life is easy. Building a home with another individual, even if it is with someone whom you love takes lots of patience, tolerance and understanding.
I do not claim to be an expert on this issue, but with over fifteen years of personal experience, I have learnt what works and what do not! I sincerely hope the following marriage tips would make a difference to your marriage relationship.
1.Be a partner to your spouse, not a boss
Nobody likes to be given orders, especially from someone you love. Do not feel compelled to make all the family decisions by yourself. Respect your spouse by discussing family related issues with her. Nobody likes to be bossed around. A decision that was made after discussion by both parties will be better received. You would also definitely be happier if your spouse consulted with you before making decisions regarding family related matters. This simple behaviour goes to show that she sees you as an important part of the family and your views matter.
2.Be a good listener
Whatever happens, do not pick up the habit of turning a deaf ear to your spouse. To save your marriage, you have to be a good listener. Stop trying to judge your spouse based on your own opinions and preferences. I know it is not easy, but when both of you are really mad at each other over some issues, take a deep breath, put some distance between both of you and calm down. Getting angry and shouting at each other will not solve any issue that you are facing in your marriage. Managing a marriage relationship takes skills, and being a good listener is definitely a skill you need. Listen to her explanations and understand it from her perspective before you start making any conclusions.
3.Believe in your loved one
If you are willing to share the rest of your life with your chosen spouse, trust is the very basic foundation of your marriage. I am not talking about blind trust here! Being married does not mean you can stop trying to get to know your spouse better. The more you interact with her, the more you will understand her. Do not deprive her of the right to do certain things just because you do not have a preference for it. It would be wise not to forget that ultimately both of you are separate individuals, each having grown up in an entirely different family with different values. It does take courage, but sometimes it would be good to just simply believe in your spouse.
4.Share and you will gain
The best part about being in love and getting married is that you have gained someone to share all the good and bad sides of life with you. All of us are great at sharing good news, but tend to keep the bad ones to ourselves. Joining your hands in marriage means that you have to learn to let your other half laugh together with you, as well as share your woes. If you are worried or unhappy about certain things, it will be reflected in your mood and behaviour. Being in a marriage means you are no longer alone! Your feelings and behaviour will affect your spouse. Do not hide your unhappy feelings. She will suspect that you are not truthful to her, and things will only get worse. You should have confidence in your chosen spouse to be strong enough to go through the downside of life with you. Try it and you will realize that you have so much more to gain by overcoming the obstacles in life together!
5.Spend time together alone
Even after you have children, do not neglect each other. Once in awhile, make arrangements for time off from your children and your house. To maintain a strong love relationship in your marriage life, it is very crucial for both of you to have private time with each other at least once or twice a week. Whether it is a simple meal together at a restaurant, a stroll in the park or a drink in a pub, making a conscious effort to spend some private time with your spouse will do wonders for your marriage relationship!
6.Little acts of love and concern
Constantly remind yourself of the little acts of love that you have showered on your loved one during your courtship period. Do not let the romance fade from your marriage life. Below are just a few of those little acts of love and concern that you can do to make your marriage life a better one.
a.A morning hug and kiss before you part for work would put a good start to a new day
b.A call of concern during work to let her know that you are thinking of her
c.Offer to clean up after a meal, and she will definitely be appreciative
d.An occasional massage for your spouse after a tiring day at work would do wonders for your love relationship
e.Take the initiative to prepare a special meal just for the two of you will create lovely memories
f.An evening hug and kiss when you see her after work
g.Prepare a cup of her favourite drink for her
h.Drive her over to the supermarket and get the groceries together
i.Remember to celebrate your special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
j.Surprise her with a night out to a romantic location for just the both of you
k.Make an effort to squeeze time out for a trip out of town
If there is any love left between both of you, you will find a way to compromise and meet each other half way in whatever difficult situation that may arise. Manage your love relationship well, and you will find that marriage life could be filled with beams of sunshine and laughter as well!